I’ve spent much of my life rejecting the way God made me and trying to be just like everyone else. I finally feel secure enough to just be myself. With this post, I’d love to encourage you to accept yourself in all of your uniqueness, just the way God made you!
I could feel my face growing redder by the minute as the group dwindled. The teacher had announced that we were going to play a game, and she proceeded to make two boys the team captains.
She then told the boys to take turns picking their desired teammates. “Brian.” “Matt.” “Amy.” “Lisa.” First they picked their friends, other boys they thought would help them win. Next, they chose athletic girls, and then the pretty girls.
And then there were those of us who were last. The ones who weren’t picked.
I was always in that group.
It wasn’t that I didn’t have any friends, it was just that I wasn’t athletic and I wasn’t pretty. I was scrawny and plain and the boys never liked me. For much of elementary school, I felt like a loser.
Accept Yourself
Over and over again, I heard messages about self-acceptance. I heard it at school, at church, and on T.V.
It was just that it didn’t work like that in real life. I still had to deal with the fact that I wasn’t popular.
For the most part, I enjoyed my childhood.
But then adolescence appeared, and with it, a whole new set of insecurities.
We had moved from a small town to a big city, and suddenly I was about ten years behind fashion-wise. I showed up to my new school with curly hair, huge glasses, and uncool clothes.
Even though my teachers all liked me and I made it on the honor roll, I’ll never forget the day an older girl pushed me down the hall. She pulled my hair and shoved me while she and her friends laughed. My friends told me to ignore her, but I never forgot the mortification I felt that day.
I wished I had been born beautiful and smart and perfect. Or maybe I could just disappear or something.
At any rate, I couldn’t just “accept myself.”
Just Be Like Everyone Else
In order to be accepted, I decided to like whatever everyone else liked. I tried to convince myself that my personal preferences didn’t matter.
I listened to music I didn’t like, went to movies that didn’t inspire me, and succumbed to peer pressure at every turn.
I just wanted to be accepted. To be like everyone else.
After awhile, I finally stopped being picked on. Guys liked me.
Only trouble was, I didn’t like myself.
And even though I had found what I thought acceptance looked like, I still didn’t feel happy.
Free to Be Me
Becoming a Christian helped me to discover what really mattered in life, and I finally found true happiness in Jesus Christ.
And I also discovered that I didn’t have to be like everyone else. I could embrace the person God created me to be, and enjoy my unique giftings.
And it’s okay if no one else likes those things.
For instance, I love classical music. I love books. I love art and old-fashioned things.
I love sitting outside on a spring day, watching the clouds drift by. And thinking. Some people may think there’s not much going on in a quiet person’s head. But it’s anything but quiet in my brain! It’s a constant conversation I’m having with myself!
I’m an introvert. And thankfully, I married an introvert who completely understands me and just lets me be me!
The Value of Personality Tests
I’ve read various opinions on personality testing. I happen to love them, and I think they’re a great idea. Recently, my older daughter encouraged me to take a personality test (rather than just continuing to guess at where I might fit!).
I’m an INFJ. And that explains so much! 🙂
I think it helps to know the personality types of everyone in your family. This helps you to be able to live together in harmony, and show love to each other in meaningful ways. My husband and I and our three oldest children (all teenagers) took the test and we were delighted to find that we all got something different!
God Made You That Way
Sometimes I think we start looking at the person we are and we feel like we’re not very acceptable, and maybe God is looking down and frowning at us.
Nothing could be further from the truth!
He made us each in a uniquely beautiful way, and He loves how different our personalities are!
Here are some verses that might encourage you that He knows who you are, and He loves you.
Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you… ~Jeremiah 1:5
I have loved you with an everlasting love…~Jeremiah 31:3
For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. ~Psalm 139:13-14
God doesn’t make mistakes. He knew what He was doing when He created each one of us.
Different Gifts
The body of Christ needs introverts just as much as it needs extroverts (and vice versa). 🙂 We each have unique strengths and gifts that can be used to bless others.
Since we have gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, each of us is to exercise them accordingly. ~Romans 12:6
If you’ve felt rejection or alienation from others in the past, remember that God made you unique. You don’t have to be just like everyone else!
Sharing this post here.
Rich says
June 23, 2019 at 11:43 amAt times I wish I was never born, GOD made me ugly the gift that last a lifetime, Why did GOD make me ugly I’ve had 50 years of feeling rejected. I have, and always will treat this world better than I received. I’m a great person trapped in this UGLY shell, The saying it’s better to loved and lost than never loved at all. Has merit. Inner beauty takes time for people to see. Accepting the way GOD made me is hard. The lonely empty feeling is something nobody needs. Don’t pity me consider yourself lucky your not me or others like me.
Joy Kincaid says
June 26, 2019 at 4:11 pmRich, thank you for your comment. All people have value in God’s eyes, no matter who they are or what they look like. I know people tend to focus on the outer appearance, but God looks at the heart.
Rich says
August 4, 2019 at 12:30 pmHow GOD see my heart doesn’t matter to me anymore living in a ugly body and face has no comfort, I pray for fast death please GOD get it over with already. There is no point for me being here I wish I was never born, if GOD loves me than take me back I done.
Val Johnson says
August 18, 2018 at 9:04 amJoy, I want to thank you for writing this simplistic (even a child could understand), yet powerful devotional. It is an understatement to say that it was for me and it actually brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for those scriptures from Jeremiah and Psalms…..wow, I wrote them down in my journal. I’m so glad that your blog post on this topic came up when I did a Google search. Just what The Dr. (Jesus) ordered. Btw, I would love to start a blog someday…..any tips/pointers? I’m very computer literate, but not sure I could put this type of page together (with all the graphics, etc). Thanks again and may God continue to bless you as you bless others for His Kingdom.
Joy Kincaid says
August 18, 2018 at 1:45 pmDear Val, I’m so thankful these simple words were an encouragement to you today. To God be the glory! Regarding blogging, I started out on a free platform over 10 years ago, and learned a lot that way (though a ton of trial and error!). Here’s a link to a free blogging webinar for beginners that might be helpful.
Christine says
March 9, 2017 at 6:50 pmJoy, I love this! Thank you for sharing your sweet journey to realizing how much worth and value you have in your Father’s eyes. So many of us struggle with this same issue even in adulthood – those elementary school feelings can come back in a heartbeat, can’t they? Thanks for the reminder to be who God made us – uniquely and individually – with no apologies.
Blessings to you – keep sharing!
Joy Kincaid says
March 9, 2017 at 8:14 pmThank you so much for the encouragement, Christine! Blessings to you!
Laura says
March 8, 2017 at 9:26 amBeautiful post! Thank you for sharing and encouraging others! I am also an introverted book/art/old fashioned loving person, and my husband is the opposite…but we’ve learned to appreciate our differences. Life would be so boring if we were all the same! God’s creations are diverse, and they are all a reflection of Him!
Joy Kincaid says
March 8, 2017 at 2:55 pmThank you, Laura! Glad to meet a fellow introvert! 🙂 I agree, life would be boring if we were all just alike! My husband and I have to work to stay balanced since we’re both introverted. Thankfully, our 17-year-old daughter is an extrovert, so that helps!
Val says
August 18, 2018 at 2:34 pmThank you, Joy!
Joy Kincaid says
August 18, 2018 at 6:33 pmYou’re welcome!
Jessica says
March 8, 2017 at 7:34 amI have chills reading this! The pressure to fit in during high school landed me a spot at the teenage mother’s table instead of the cool kid’s table. I found my worth in a boy who didn’t value me instead of in the One who Created me. This is one reason that my husband and I have decided to homeschool our children. This post is wonderful, Joy! Thank you for sharing it on the Homestead Blog Hop!
Joy Kincaid says
March 8, 2017 at 2:52 pmThank you, Jessica! And thanks so much for sharing some of your story. Those high school years were hard, weren’t they? Our school experience was also what led my husband and I to homeschool our children. So glad you stopped by!
Marla says
March 8, 2017 at 7:19 amHI Joy,
What a wonderful message you have here. Accepting yourself can be a challenge. I truly can understand what you are talking about feeling out of place as a kid – I remember feeling that way. No matter how many times someone tells to accept yourself it isn’t that easy. In our world today with all the bullying it is even worse. I understand now that the mean kids aren’t happy either or they wouldn’t be mean and so hateful but that sure doesn’t make it any easier when you are kid and living through. Learning to accept is still something I work at. Thanks for all the inspiration. Congratulations on being featured on Homestead blog hop. Pinned & twitted.
Joy Kincaid says
March 8, 2017 at 2:49 pmNow that I’m an adult, I realize that the mean kids weren’t happy, but as you mentioned, I had a hard time thinking about that when I was a kid! 🙂 Thank you so much for stopping by and leaving an encouraging comment, Marla!
Ginger Harrington says
March 3, 2017 at 2:50 pmI know that feeling of being the last one chosen. It bruises our child hearts in a way that sticks with us without the healing touch of God. I’m writing on a similar topic this week. Sometimes God works in themes, which is so cool. Linking with you at Grace and Truth.
Joy Kincaid says
March 3, 2017 at 3:09 pmI love how you said, “It bruises our child hearts in a way that sticks with us without the healing touch of God.” That’s so true. When we are in Christ, we can let go of the hurt, but without His healing touch, it’s hard to get over the pain. Going to check out your post!
Dawn says
March 3, 2017 at 12:17 pmI found myself resonating with your words immediately, then I read, ” I am an introvert and I married an introvert who completely understands me” . Me, too! I felt myself saying , “me, too” throughout your post and I appreciate these scriptures that you shared in Jeremiah… such good words.
Thanks for this little gift of encouragement.
Blessings,
Dawn
Joy Kincaid says
March 3, 2017 at 3:05 pmI’m so glad it was encouraging, Dawn! It seems like we have quite a bit in common! Blessings to you!
Heather says
March 3, 2017 at 11:22 amYes and Amen! I can so relate to this. I’m an introvert (married to an extrovert) and learning that God made me this way has been so freeing. It’s okay to not be like everyone else. I can serve God best when I accept who He created me to be and how He created me to function.
Joy Kincaid says
March 3, 2017 at 3:00 pmIt is so freeing to realize God has a special plan for each of us! Thanks so much for sharing, Heather!
Liz says
March 3, 2017 at 7:19 amLove this! God doesn’t make any mistakes! We are all uniquely perfect in His eyes! Thanks for sharing this and for being so transparent! Blessings!
Joy Kincaid says
March 3, 2017 at 2:58 pmThanks for the encouragement, Liz!
Leslie says
March 3, 2017 at 2:16 amHi Joy, The topic of accepting ourselves is near and dear to my heart. I love the verses you picked. They are so full of love and reassurance! It’s a long journey to accepting ourselves, but when we do, it’s freedom! Thank you for sharing this!
Joy Kincaid says
March 3, 2017 at 2:57 pmLeslie, you’re so right, it is a long journey! So glad you stopped by today!
Edith says
March 2, 2017 at 2:07 amI absolutely love this post! Great encouragement for the young and everyone else. We are fearfully and wonderfully made and we can revel in that knowledge no matter how others see us. Tweeting and sharing on my Fb page, Aunty Edith.
Joy Kincaid says
March 2, 2017 at 2:59 pmThank you, Edith!
Bella Easterbrook says
March 1, 2017 at 11:30 pmI’m an INFJ too! I’m also learning to accept myself for who God created me to be. And I find as I accept myself, I’m more able to accept other people who are different to me. Thanks for this article!
Joy Kincaid says
March 2, 2017 at 12:18 amHello Bella! So happy to meet a fellow INFJ!
Michelle says
March 1, 2017 at 2:35 pmI really struggle with self acceptance sometimes. Thank you so much for the reminder that God made me this way, so I should embrace it and find a way to use my uniqueness to serve.
Joy Kincaid says
March 1, 2017 at 4:09 pmHonestly, I still struggle with it too at times. I’ve reached a measure of self-acceptance that I didn’t have when I was younger, but there are times when I forget what I know to be true, and I allow myself to listen to self-deprecating thoughts. Michelle, I’m so glad you stopped by today—thank you!
K.Scott says
March 1, 2017 at 1:27 pmAmen!
I am not beautiful by the usual standards. In fact, I have been called ugly, plain, “all nose, glasses, and hair.” I am also a shy introvert who loves old fashioned things, but I was never able to confirm to fit in better because of a stricter upbringing and low income level.
I longed to be beautiful. And I knew if I were beautiful things would have been different. It is just a fact. But, now that I am settled into my little life, I am content. I don’t need it different. I have a husband who thinks I am sexy, children who think I am beautiful, and the ability to be a stay at home mom.
Joy Kincaid says
March 1, 2017 at 4:05 pmOh, I can relate to that longing to be beautiful. It’s such a blessing to have a husband who thinks I am! I’ve always been so encouraged by 1 Samuel 16:7 that says, “The Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” I sometimes try to console myself with the realization that if I had been beautiful, I might not have been able to be as compassionate. You’re so right—the blessings of home, husband, and children make life beautiful!
Thanks so much for sharing your heart, K!
Rosanna says
February 28, 2017 at 9:30 pmWhat a lovely post. I was homeschooled so I didn’t experience all the things that you did, but I have struggled with being a people pleaser and wanting everyone to like me. I’m slowly learning that I’m not like everyone else and God still has a special plan for me.
Joy Kincaid says
February 28, 2017 at 10:24 pmThank you, Rosanna! What a blessing that you were homeschooled! My school experience was part of what led me to homeschool my own children. Thanks so much for sharing your heart!
Sara says
February 28, 2017 at 11:08 amJoy, our experiences in school are very much the same! Like you I tried hard to fit in but I was neither athletic or “pretty”. Unfortunately I experienced bullying as well, one girl in particular. Like you, I am a quiet introvert who loves old fashioned things and it wasn’t until my late twenties I finally accepted myself and deepened my relationship with Jesus Christ. I only wished I could have done it sooner, but I believe what I went through has made me who I am today and sometimes God uses not so good things to bring us closer to Him.
Thank you for a great reminder!! ☺
Joy Kincaid says
February 28, 2017 at 3:14 pmSara, I’m sorry you had a similar experience! I do agree with you that God uses all things for good, and I know those painful experiences help to make us stronger, more compassionate, and hopefully kinder people. Thanks so much for the encouragement! 🙂