Desires for 2012

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“A desire accomplished is sweet to the soul…” ~Proverbs 13:19

“…Desire fulfilled is a tree of life.” ~Proverbs 13:12

A couple of weeks ago, I sent a dear friend an e-mail. I was pouring out my heart and my desires for a life well-lived, without any regrets. As I re-read what I had written, I was struck by my intense longing for the words to be true. Here is what I wrote:

“I really want to look back and see hours and hours and hours of just connecting with my kids and reaching their hearts and loving on them. And also loving on my husband and blessing him.”

These thoughts are somewhat taken out of context here, as I’m only sharing a couple of sentences from quite a few paragraphs of what was originally written. But the thought is still there…I want to give my life to loving these precious people that the Lord has blessed me with. I want to look back with a peaceful contentment in my heart that I actually did love my husband and children well. I want to put my whole heart into it!

As the years of mothering add up and I gain more real-life experience as a mother (now of an almost-thirteen-year-old, navigating young-womanhood, down to our sweet two-year-old), I am seeing that motherhood is a real and sobering and beautiful calling. It’s a whole-life calling. It takes everything you’ve got to do it well. And even then you can’t do it well–without Him. Without the enabling grace and power of Jesus Christ I still won’t get it right. I need His help day by day and hour by hour and minute by minute.

Another thing I’ve learned is that mothering takes time. Lots of time. Time reading, playing, cooking, cleaning, loving, tending, caring, bathing, changing, rocking, hugging, kissing, washing, nursing, carrying, teaching, discipling, mentoring, helping, showing, bandaging, fixing, organizing, creating, and more loving. It all takes time.

I think it was hard for me to get this at first. It took me a long time to understand. After years of working a five-day-a-week 8:00-5:00 job with evenings and weekends off, paid vacation, and sick leave–well, motherhood kind of took me by surprise. I had spent all of my girlhood days dreaming of motherhood. But I wasn’t really prepared for the realities of it. Especially the fact that there are no paid vacations or times off-duty. But now I’m getting it. I’m embracing the laying down of my life to pour into my children. I want to be faithful to this calling.

And my wonderful husband…have I ever mentioned what a blessing he is to me? I don’t want to embarrass him, but he has such a servant’s heart. He’s a great cook and a great story-teller. He’s great at reading aloud and giving piggy-back rides and jumping on the trampoline with the kids. He’s cooked more meals, given more baths, and changed more diapers than I can count. When he serves me, it makes me want to serve him, too. He is my soul-mate, lover, and friend. I want so much to keep our marriage as a top priority and nurture the deep love that is between us. Sometimes in the midst of all the busyness of bringing up children wives forget about their husbands–I don’t want that to happen!

The desire of my heart for this coming year is that I would be faithful to all that I have been called to as a Christian, wife, and mother.

That I would be faithful to live in a manner pleasing to the Lord. Faithful in serving my family and loving them. Faithful to love the Lord my God with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength. Faithful even in the little things.

In light of all these meditations, I have decided to take a break from blogging. I don’t have a firm date set in my mind for my return. I just have so many things I need to do that are priorities over computer time. My plan at this point is to take as long as I need to get things in order and accomplish some important projects here at home.

I hope you all have a wonderful New Year!

“Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart.”

~Psalm 37:4

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P.S. ~ I’m looking forward to making this soon!