Too Fast
Time is moving too fast. From the five candles on my baby’s birthday cake to the two girls in my home who are now teenagers…it’s just all too fast. I don’t know how I ended up almost-forty with more gray hair appearing every day.
Wasn’t it just yesterday that I was a teenager myself? It sure feels that way. I look at old people now, and they don’t seem so old. I know how they must be feeling, with a mind that’s forever twenty-one and a body that betrays them, that refuses to respond the way it used to. At least I’m getting a glimpse of how it must be for them. I look at them with new understanding and compassion.
And I want time to stop, I want it to stand still, just for awhile. I want to enjoy the season I’m in and not rush on to the next one so fast.
But the days keep on coming, relentlessly rushing by so fast that sometimes I wonder what happened to my babies. How is it possible that my oldest is now fifteen years old?
And though I’m prone to sentimental tears when I look at old photos from the past, I love the fact that when my oldest daughter fills out the “First Day of School” page (a page that’s a little bit “babyish” for her, but she fills it out just to humor me), she writes “Mom” in the blank that says, “My best friend is…”
Even though I miss the past in some ways, filled with all the baby snuggles and toddlers, it really is amazingly beautiful to have your older children for your best friends.
A few nights ago I snuggled up in my bed with my two older daughters (who are now thirteen and fifteen) and watched God’s Not Dead (which is now one of my favorite movies ever!). The younger children were enjoying a video more on their level, and my husband had to work.
We had been wanting to see this movie ever since our pastor recommended it to us, so we were thankful when my mom brought us her DVD to borrow. It turned out to be a sweet bonding time for the three of us.
We cried (or maybe I was the only one crying!) and discussed the tragedy of a life without Jesus. We rejoiced in the knowledge that God is very much alive, and He loves us so much. He loves you so much that He sent His Son Jesus to die for you!
“For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.” ~John 3:16
“Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.” ~John 15:13
This past week has been an emotional one. We started school, dealt with a migraine for one child, a cold for another one, and another kidney stone for my husband. Today I pretty much threw my well-intentioned schedule out the window, due to weariness and lack of sleep. I’m not giving up on it, but there will be other days to try again. For now it’s just walking out one day at a time, feeling thankful for each day I wake up alive and well to be with my family. The time goes by too fast to take these days with them for granted.
My 17 year old daughter says I am her best friend too. I am in awe that the way God has redeemed my non christian back ground. My youngest are 13 year old twin boys. I have 5 years left with them. It runs by. I love teenagers….my favorite age group of childhood. So many things to talk about with them and if you are open they do talk.
You mentioned getting older. There are moments I pass by the mirror and wonder who that person is. I am starting to wonder who I will be when those last five years with the kids are up.
I so enjoyed what you wrote, Christy! That's wonderful that your daughter thinks of you as her best friend, too. It's such a huge blessing. I went through a very difficult time as a teenager (I'm planning to share my testimony soon), and yet my mom was my best friend through it all. We're still close to this day.
I know what you mean about wondering who the person in the mirror is. It's a weird feeling to be changing on the outside and yet still feel like yourself on the inside!