Cherish The Moment
***I came across this excellent article by Marilyn Boyer recently, and it was such an encouragement that I wanted to share it. And Marilyn graciously agreed. Thank you so much, Marilyn!***
CHERISH THE MOMENT
By Marilyn Boyer
By Marilyn Boyer
Learning to savor your children as you look to the future so you won’t have to look at the past and wish that you had…
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I have been amazed at how often I hear grandparents, parents of grown children, and even parents of teenagers say, “They grow up so fast – enjoy them while they’re young,” or “ I miss my kids being little.” It seems that in retrospect, the years when your children are young are the most memorable. But, as a mom of young kids, this is also the most frustrating, time-consuming, energy-draining, busy time of life!
Isn’t it odd that these would be the years that those a little farther on in life remember with the most fondness and tender longing? How can that be? How can we, as moms of young children, wish for our kids to be bigger, wish for more time for ourselves, wish we had more independence from our kids, and wish we didn’t have to sit down and play games on the floor one more time today – and those barely removed from our stage of life caution us to love it and savor the moment, and enjoy it while we can, as they wish they could go back to it today?
Perhaps that great wisdom of time, Retrospect, has shined its light on the past to reveal to these people, a greater insight, a deeper understanding of these precious years.
Another thing I have noticed is that the majority of people who warn us to enjoy these years look back themselves with regret. More often than not, they conclude their advice to us with…
”I sure wish I had enjoyed it more.”
“I wish I could hold my little guy one more time.”
“I wish I could tuck my baby girl into bed just once more.”
“I would give anything to put everything else on hold and pack a lunch and enjoy the day with my kids.”
“I wish I had not worked so much.”
“I wish I had taken more time to love my kids.”
“I wish I had stayed home with my children instead of pursuing a career.”
“I wish … I wish … I wish.”
Well, I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to look back on the years I am a mom of young children with regret! I don’t want to wish I had been more loving and more patient. I don’t want to wish I had appreciated the little treasures that my children were – I want to appreciate the little treasures that they are!
I want to find joy in playing doll house AGAIN and I want to find the happiness in giving up a night out with my friend in order to soothe a sick child, I want to learn to savor the moment NOW, so I don’t look back when they are grown, and join the many others of parents who wish they had known then what they know now. Let’s learn from those who have already been there!
It occurs to me that if so many people look back with longing and at least some regret or guilt at their parenting and priorities while parents of young children, and yet on the flip side, as parents of young children, we find it hard to see through the thickness of the duties and difficulties and self-sacrificing that comes with being a mommy and therefore wish it all away – something is not right!
It’s a bad circle-cycle. I don’t believe that is the way the Lord intended it to be. As a Christian parent, I should not have to look back with regret, I should be able to look back in confidence, knowing that I served my children, and therefore my Lord as well, because I parented by the Word and for the right reasons. I believe we have the tools we need to parent with confidence and with a heart that will not look back and regret that we didn’t do more.
Now, I am not saying that we can be perfect parents who will never do anything that we will later wish we had not. But I believe God has given us all the instruction we need – His Word. So, instead of blindly fighting through this process of raising young children, let’s find out what we can do to avoid the pitfalls along the way and learn to truly cherish our children now.
Marilyn and Rick Boyer are the parents of 14 children, all homeschooled since kindergarten. Marilyn’s message of hands-on, heart-to-heart parenting has traveled around the world through her books, recordings, and her challenging, encouraging talks to homeschooling parents. Visit them at their website, The Learning Parent. Reprinted with permission from the author.
Oh, Tesha, I'm so sorry to hear about your precious baby. I can't even imagine how hard that must be to lose your little one. And to have to go through the grief process while at the same time mothering five other children, must be very difficult.
I pray the Lord will give you an extra measure of His grace and comfort today.
♥ Joy
So very good. I really need to read this. We recently gave birth to our sixth child stillborn on 1-24-12. It has been so difficult to enjoy my children. Grief is hard work. Thanks for the reminder that I only get so much time.
When I first read this article it brought tears to my eyes! I know what you mean…we've always wanted to have our children with us, and I'm so thankful for the opportunity to live and learn together.
I loved what you said about wanting to be with your children as much as possible and hoping they'll want to be around you, too, when you get old. If you invest your life in them, I'm sure they will. 🙂
Great article…I've been mulling over that too and wrote something a while back "on being home". It makes me sad to see so many moms just looking for opportunities to have someone else watch their children. They just can't wait until that first or last one goes off to school. Not me. I love homeschooling. I'd never send them away for the best hours of their day. I want to be with my children as much as possible and when I'm old I hope they want to be around me too. =)
Deanna,
I've really benefited from their books, too. They were some of the first we read early on.
Grace Mae,
I still feel 16! Sometimes I wish I could just have that carefree feeling of being a child again…but then I wouldn't be enjoying the blessings I have now! There's so much to enjoy in each season. 🙂
Denise,
Thank you so much for commenting and for the encouragement!
Good Morning, just found your blog, it's beautiful, thanks for sharing! Just wanted to share a thought, I have two children, one is finishing up with homeschooling this year and off to college. It does go fast, regrets are not there but I really do miss those years when they were little, it's tiresome and a lot of work, but they are yours and they are safe at home….it's harder I think for homeschooling moms to let them venture out, it's right but still hard, cherish the younger years!! God Bless, Denise
Thanks Miss Joy for sharing. Cherish those little ones. I see them growing up so fast. I remember when I was little and now I can't believe that I just turned 16. Sometimes I just want to hold back time and be little. Blessings on your family~
I really appreciate Rick and Marilyn's ministry to families!
That was a very good article!
Deanna