How I Survived Severe Morning Sickness 5 Times
Why is Everyone Pregnant But Me?
As soon as we got married, I couldn’t wait to have a baby. I spent my lunch breaks at work devouring pregnancy and parenting books.
I dreamed of the day when I would hold my very own child in my arms.
Weeks went by, then months. And still I wasn’t pregnant, despite the fact that we were actively trying.
Whenever I would see other pregnant mothers, I felt a stab of jealousy in my heart. I pleaded with God to let me be pregnant NOW!
I can still remember the day when I rushed home from work and took yet another pregnancy test, praying that this time I would see that pink line develop in the little test result window.
As I waited breathlessly, I saw the second pink line appear.
I couldn’t believe it! After ten months of trying to conceive, I was finally pregnant!
I dropped down onto the floor, crying and praising God for this wonderful miracle!
When my husband came home I showed him the test and we cried together and prayed and then took the test over to my parents’ house to share our excitement with them.
From Anticipation to Despair
That was one of the happiest days of my life.
But the happiness was short-lived.
It wasn’t long before the morning sickness hit. And it was worse than anything I could have imagined at the time.
It was the weekend of Thanksgiving, and we were anticipating spending time with our families. But as the day dawned, I knew I wasn’t going anywhere.
It started off with overwhelming nausea, which quickly progressed to uncontrollable vomiting. No matter what we tried, I couldn’t keep any food or water down.
We ended up calling the on-call physician at my OB/GYN’s office. My husband called the office for me because I was just lying there crying and feeling miserable. The doctor on-call insisted on talking to me personally. I cried through the whole conversation, and ended up running to the bathroom as soon as we hung up.
Since I couldn’t keep anything down or take anything by mouth, the doctor prescribed anti-nausea suppositories. I couldn’t believe I was actually going to use those things, but I was desperate.
Morning Sickness
I can’t imagine why it’s called “morning sickness.” I always felt the worst at night, but it was really all-day and all-night sickness.
Non-stop overwhelming nausea and uncontrollable vomiting.
Life seemed to come to a screeching halt for me.
I had planned to work up until my due date, but that was impossible now. I had to quit my job, and there went half of our income and my health insurance.
I spent my days lying in bed, sleeping, crying, trying to eat whatever food would stay down (mostly just popsicles), and watching videos my husband would pick up from the library (reading made the nausea worse).
Most of the time I was just miserable.
I constantly worried about my very-wanted and very-loved baby. How could she survive all of the drugs I was taking? How could she live if I couldn’t eat or drink?
I had nightmares about giving birth to a baby deformed by the anti-nausea drugs I was taking. I never took the full dosage I was allowed because I was so worried about my baby. And I couldn’t live with myself if my baby was harmed because of something I did (even though we would both have died without the anti-nausea drugs).
You Can’t Imagine How Miserable It Is
You really can’t believe how terrible Hyperemesis Gravidarum is unless you’ve gone through it yourself.
But let me try to give you a picture of the level of suffering.
Imagine you have a stomach virus or maybe food poisoning. But instead of lasting 24-48 hours, it lasts for 5-9 months.
Just imagine that. Imagine you have food poisoning with nausea and vomiting for not just a few days, but months! Don’t you think that would be miserable?
That is as close as I can get to helping someone understand what severe morning sickness is like.
And keep in mind that the anti-nausea medication really just took the edge off—sometimes. It didn’t eliminate the nausea or vomiting entirely. It seemed like nothing we tried would completely eliminate it.
No One Understands What I’m Going Through
That was the main thing I felt during my months with morning sickness. No one understood what I was going through.
One lady from church (who called to check in on me) even went so far as to tell me “I just can’t understand why you would be so sick!” I felt like saying, “Believe me, lady, I can’t understand it either, but just because we don’t understand it doesn’t mean I’m not feeling it!”
Please Keep Your Advice to Yourself
Everyone wanted to give me advice.
The most-popular piece of advice was to eat crackers. That was everyone’s favorite. “Be sure to eat a small snack like crackers before you get out of bed in the morning, so your blood sugar doesn’t get too low.”
The books I read on morning sickness also suggested eating crackers first thing in the morning (I can’t tell you how many times I heard that one!), getting exercise, drinking fresh juices, eating whole foods, lots of protein, etc.
None of this advice was helpful. At. All.
I was vomiting so many times a day and night that I lost count! I was so weak that I could barely stand up to walk to the bathroom.
I started the pregnancy at around 107 pounds, and I was now down to 97 pounds just a few weeks into the pregnancy. I was seriously ill.
Crackers weren’t going to help.
The Diagnosis
Since no one I knew had experienced HG, I felt alone and like there must be something wrong with me. Was it something in my diet? I knew so many mothers who were not very concerned with eating what I would consider healthy food, and yet they felt great while they were pregnant. I had been eating a whole foods diet for years, and here I was, very sick.
Depression
I had a hard time not feeling despair.
I couldn’t go anywhere or do much of anything. My whole life consisted of nausea, vomiting, suppositories, and weak muscles from being in bed most of the time.
I felt alone. I wondered if this would ever end, and if it did, would it end happily? I wasn’t sure.
I was thankful for my Certified Nurse Midwife who could bring IV’s to my home if I needed them, and who could also have her backup physician write prescriptions for anti-nausea medications.
I Decided to Do it Again
Despite the many months of misery, I went on to give birth to a beautiful, healthy baby at home.
Despite the misery, I couldn’t wait to have another baby.
I thought for sure that I couldn’t be as sick the next time. Surely my second pregnancy would be better.
But it was worse. Because this time, I also had my 15-month-old to take care of, in the midst of the morning sickness.
It was so incredibly hard. I would drag myself out of bed in the morning (groggy from the anti-nausea medication), get my daughter up and dressed, take her downstairs and put her in the highchair with a granola bar and milk for breakfast, and I would lie on the couch next to her while we watched a video.
Greater Trials
During this pregnancy I also began to have migraines for the first time in my life.
What made this pregnancy seem almost harder than the first was trying to care for the baby I already had, and trying to be a cheerful mommy even though I felt so bad.
Even though this was hard, my toddler gave me hope that this new baby in the womb would also survive despite my sickness. I was so thankful when I gave birth to my very chubby and healthy second baby (my second home birth).
Doing it Again
I really wanted another baby. But now I knew that I was prone to severe morning sickness, so I had realistic expectations.
But this time, I was going to be prepared. Before getting pregnant, I decided to do a whole body, liver, and colon cleanse to see if that might help. I had been researching the subject of morning sickness, and this was supposed to help.
I also started taking milk thistle for liver support, before conception.
After finding out that I was expecting, I continued taking the milk thistle and also added several other natural supplements that had been recommended to me.
Unfortunately, none of these things had any noticeable effect on my morning sickness. I was still miserable, and this time I had a 24-month old and a 12-month-old to take care of.
Oh, it was so incredibly hard! However, I went on to give birth to a very healthy 9 pound baby boy.
And Again
My fourth pregnancy was the same as the others (miserable), except I now had three small children (5, 3 and 18 months) to take care of.
Also, my husband had been laid off, and we were trying to sell our house and find a rental house in a town four hours away. I think this was one of the hardest times.
I had many migraines and the nausea never went away until after the birth. But thankfully, I gave birth to another healthy baby girl at home!
Longing for Another Baby
Despite the misery of my previous pregnancies, I found myself longing for another baby.
I (again) hoped things might be different this time.
I had learned even more about health, and I hoped my newfound knowledge might have a positive impact on the morning sickness situation.
We had begun to eat a Nourishing Traditions type of diet. I drank Beet Kvass, Kombucha (which some have reported is supposed to help with preventing morning sickness), raw milk, ate fermented vegetables, soaked grains, made yogurt, etc.
We were also taking coconut oil, cod liver oil, butter oil, and doing many other “nourishing food” practices.
But none of it worked. I was still just as sick as I had been before.
But again, despite the misery, my sweet baby boy was worth it! He was my biggest baby yet, at 9 lbs, 6 ounces.
My Children Were Worth it All
After five miserable pregnancies, I finally stopped researching morning sickness. I’ve come to believe that no matter what I do, I will still have severe, debilitating morning sickness with any pregnancy.
Everything I tried was a dead end.
There isn’t a diet or any kind of “cure,” for me. (Unless it would be a miraculous healing from God, which I and others prayed for many times.)
Even though I’ve spent around two years of my life with morning sickness (with all five pregnancies combined), my children were definitely worth it all.
Each one of them is a huge blessing in my life, and I count it a privilege to be their mother.
I Understand What You’re Going Through
One thing that I’ve gained from being sick during my pregnancies is a heart of compassion and empathy for those mothers who suffer with severe morning sickness or any kind of sickness during pregnancy.
I would have never believed it was possible to be this sick just because you’re pregnant if I hadn’t experienced it myself! Your whole life kind of comes to a stand-still, and the whole family suffers when Mommy is so sick for so long.
This verse in Isaiah (40:11) has long been one of my favorite pregnancy verses:
He will feed His flock like a shepherd; He will gather the lambs with His arm, and carry them in His bosom, and gently lead those who are with young.
I poured over every word with tears streaming down my face. I suffered HG with my pregnancies and I’m currently on number 6. Reading how you dealt with it is so familiar and gives me such consolation! I always say the guilt of not being the mom I want to be for the others is the hardest. The 24 hr suffering is so unbearable and brings darkness to our heads I think. But God’s mercy is so grand and beautiful when we hold those precious babes in our arms for the first time and all the sickness washes away. I have to share that this pregnancy was a complete surprise and I have suffered no sickness. I keep going to the doctor for fear something is wrong! But I am 12 weeks and baby is healthy. The is no explanation other than God has shown great mercy and it’s a miracle. I thank you for writing this for all of us because it helps to not feel so alone. I think the fact that you have continued to bring beautiful babies into this world knowing how debilitated you will be is so tremendously holy and you are an incredible witness to all! Thank you for your words! Solidarity, sister ❤
I’m so glad it was encouraging! It is so hard to go through, especially when no one else understands what you’re experiencing. But yes, so worth it! Congratulations on your 6th baby, and I pray that your pregnancy continues to be free of sickness!
This helped me read.
I got pregnant and I knew instantly I was because of how sick I was. I was only 4 weeks in when my hyperemesis began. I too, had to quit my job and my husband has bared the burden. That was almost 2 years ago.
I unfortunately lost my baby at 22 weeks pregnant. It was the most excruciating experience of my life just being pregnant. I hated every single moment of it but I would do anything to not of lost my babe.
Here I am almost 2 years to the date of finding out I was pregnant and all my sickness and tragic hardships began. I want to try again, but my husband and I are terrified. I unfortunately was not taken serious with my sickness and I never got the correct treatment. I kept telling my obgyn that
I had this and she just snickered it off.
Only until I had to have surgery when there was no heartbeat that I seen a fetal specialist and she was so upset to learn that I hadn’t been taken serious. I want to try again but I am terrified of this experience again. You give me hope knowing you did this so many times, you are super
Woman and I solute you.
I fear of HG
Again but also of another late term loss. Thank you for giving me hope.
Xoxo
Oh, I’m so sorry you deal with this too, and so sorry for the loss of your baby. What a heartbreaking experience to go through. I can imagine being terrified to possibly go through it all over again. I’m so glad my story was helpful. When I was in the midst of it, I read a story about a mom (who was several years ahead of me in age and experience) with hyperemesis who had 7 children (and hyperemesis each time) and her story gave me hope that I could make it again. Blessings ~Joy
Thank you so much for sharing your story. This is my first pregnancy. I’m trying to figure out my issue, is it the multi vitamins, the unisom,the vitamin B6, I have felt totally lost on this journey. I thank God for moments like this where I don’t feel so alone. It’s hard when most of your family members just say they’ve never felt that way or it will get better. I really relate to wanting to Work till I was due and finish the year with my students, but I am in such despair. I may have to quit my job. Anyways thank you so much for sharing.
My heart goes out to you, Marilyn! I’m so sorry you’re having to walk through this. I know it’s so miserable and hard to go through. And that’s the worst when no one around you can understand. It’s so lonely. I know it sounds trite when you’re going through it, but it will all be worth it in the end! My kids are now young adults and teens (and one pre-teen), and they are my best friends! Saying a prayer for you tonight, for comfort and a quick ending to the morning sickness!
I’m michelle Flores 35 yr old from Philippines its my second pregnancy having worst vomiting eat little I am so weak feel depressed I remember on my first baby I was admitted got iv fluids I was so thin from 50 kg my weight is go down 42 kg almost 8 kg lost my weight I’m thankful my baby surivie praying my baby strong too like her sister…. Planning after my pregnancy family planning IUD contraceptive.. Even I wanted to have atleast 3 kids decided to have 2 kids is enough. I’m thankful my I have my mom who taking care of me and my 2 year old daughter… Praying to all mom suffer HG… God bless
Hello Michelle! Oh, I’m so sorry to hear you’re suffering with pregnancy sickness! That is so miserable. I know it’s so hard to go through, but so worth it in the end! Saying a prayer for you right now!
Hello, I am pregnant with my fourth baby and my fourth time around having severe HG. It lasts until about two days after I deliver. Reading your story felt like reading my own. People still think I am crazy that number four is on the way. This gave me hope knowing there is another mamma out there that has experienced this as much as I have! It is so much harder with three toddlers, 3, 4, & 5 too now. I often feel so guilty for not being there the way other moms can be when pregnant. Thank you for writing this.
Hi Kelsey! I’m so sorry to hear that you’re dealing with HG. I know it’s so miserable, especially when you have other children to care for while trying to keep yourself alive! Praying for you!
Thank you so much for sharing your story! I am 9 1/2 weeks into my 4th pregnancy and I have experienced HG with all of them. It is SO hard feeling like no one I talk to understands at all & some just think I’m being overly dramatic… that I can’t possibly really be so sick if I’m doing “what I’m supposed to” for morning sickness. Trust me, I am this sick! And although the advice is often well meaning, it is also immensely frustrating. It doesn’t help! I’ve always lost 10-15 lbs from the uncontrollable vomiting before gaining any weight. And the constant intense nausea is debilitating. I struggle with keeping down any bites of food or sips of liquid many day. And if I stand up or sit up for very long at all I get so lightheaded. Life really does grind to a halt during pregnancy. I feel like I just lie on the couch for months until I can safely take meds everyday that at least take the edge off & prevent most vomiting. I hate taking meds! Especially while pregnant! I’ve always prayed & prayed they would not have harmful effects on my precious babies. The Lord has given me 3 healthy children (now ages 4, 3 and 1) and another on the way! It’s been a real encouragement to me to recently find out HG is a real thing that others go through also. I’m not alone!
I’m so glad it was encouraging, Christina! I know it’s so hard to go through. So hard that sometimes I wondered if I would live through it. But it’s so worth it! My kids are all older now, and HG is just a dim memory in my mind, and my kids are all such a blessing. Prayers for you and your family as you walk through another HG pregnancy. Your baby is worth it!
Hi. I’m laying in bed in tears because I just put my 2 year old down to bed and the mommy guilt is so immense, that my heart is broken. When I got home from work, i went straight upstairs to my room and”slept off” the nausea. I didn’t wake up until I heard my husband bathing my baby boy; following the exact routine that I established for him since he was born, and now, i can’t even follow through. I work full time and I completely missed out. I had a terrible day at work and all I want is to spend time with my family….and I can’t. People at work think I’m ridiculous. Two other pregnant girls are trying to give me all kinds of crazy advice. I’m depressed and miserable and there is nothing I can do because nothing works. I feel so alone and I am beyond grateful that I came across your article. I am 10 weeks pregnant and I have a long way to go but I’m a tough girl despite everything. Thanks for your story.
Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that you’re dealing with this. I know it’s so discouraging, and so hard when you’re trying to make it to work every day and take care of children, too. My heart goes out to you. I often felt depressed during my pregnancies because I was just so miserable, but I can say that it was always worth it in the end! Now my babies are 19, 17, 15, 13, and 9, and they are such a blessing in my life. Hang in there, it will all be worth it when you hold your new baby for the first time!
YES! I had HG with both pregnancies and it is NOT just bad morning sickness! It is debilitating and potentially deadly to mother and baby. It was so frustrating to be so ill and made to feel as if I was doing something wrong. The message I got from others was if I just ate better, had crackers, etc. I would be fine. Meanwhile I couldn’t even keep my saliva down and was losing weight instead of gaining.
Truthfully HG is the very reason we don’t have more children. I just had to accept that my body doesn’t do pregnancy very well.
I think HG is one of the most difficult things to deal with since so few people understand it and they think they know what you’re going through but they don’t have a clue. 🙂 Yes, I got all those same messages about making sure I ate regularly, try crackers, etc. Very hurtful and frustrating. I kept thinking I could overcome the HG, and I really wanted a large family (larger than what we ended up with)…but in the end, I realized it was always going to be this way.